Glad to be married

So the other day I was out in the back working on the deck by myself. Carolyn had taken all the kids to soccer practice. Normally we all go as a family to soccer practice but we decided that this was the only day this week when I could work on the deck.

So the deck did not go very well. I was trying to nail in the bandboard at the end of the joists, but it was very difficult because I was simultaneously trying to hold up the board while also nailing it in. I had it propped up on a post while I tried to nail it in but still I wasn’t able to get it at a good angle and I kept bending the nails. After ruining quite a few, I got the thought to pre-drill the holes to make the nails go in easier. So I got out the drill and on the first hole – boom, I snapped the drill bit…

So as I as was getting kind of frustrated, I thought that Carolyn too was doing something (taking all the kids to soccer practice) that would have been easier had I been there. So I thought “Gee I’m glad that I’m married!”

Which is not to say that this is the only benefit of marriage or that being married is all grins and giggles, but it just kind of seemed like a perfect metaphor at the time.

Number of kids

Wanted to share something that happened to me a few weeks ago while I was at the park for a Cub Scout den meeting.

I was chatting with one of the moms and I asked her if these were her only kids (she had 2 little ones plus the Scout). She said that no, she actually had 5 kids. I said “Oh okay” and a little while later she asked me if I had any other kids and I told her that I had 4 with one on the way and she said “Yeah, I thought you might have a bunch of kids. Normally when I tell people that I have 5, they give me this look but you didn’t even bat an eye”


Story from Joe Chrisman

Some of you who read this know Joe Chrisman who used to be in our ward before they moved up to Sidney Ohio a year or so ago. If you’re not friends with him on Facebook, you may not have seen this crazy story that he shared over there.

(Again – reminder if you’re just skimming – this is not about me!)

Dear Family and Friends:

Wow, what a morning that I’ll never forget. It began Monday morning with Heather’s doctor appointment. She’d was dilated to a one. And she’d been dilated to a one for the past 2 weeks (i.e. no change from a previous appointment – her due date is tomorrow). Heather was beginning to worry that she might have to have a C-section since Martha had come a week early and had had a large head.

On Monday night during our family activity night together, acting on an impression I’d received during church this past weekend, we went to our neighbors across the street, to give cookies and to introduce ourselves to them and get to know them. We had a very pleasant visit with them – Vic & Kathy Stewart, long time residents of Sidney.

Knowing that Heather was due any day, Kathy suggested that, in order to speed things along, Heather could get on all fours and clean the kitchen floor. Apparently this has the effect of putting the baby in position to come out. Kathy said this worked for one of her daughters who lives out of state.

After we got home and put Martha to bed, Heather got on all fours and cleaned the kitchen floor. Later that night she was waking up periodically.

I got up at 5:30 a.m. this morning to clean our law office (as I usually do on Tuesday mornings, early). I asked Heather if I should still go. She said to go ahead, that we’d go to the hospital when she came back. By the time I got back at 7:00 a.m., little could I have guessed that in less than 1/2 hour, the baby was going to be born at our house!

I had just taken my shower and gotten dressed when my memory starts to get blurry. Heather’s emotions and urgency for what was going on received my complete attention as she started to show the signs of imminent child birth. I ran to get my neighbor, Joyce, to help. What followed I will never forget as Heather delivered the baby, standing up, in our bathroom.

I tried to catch the baby, but was unprepared since Joyce and I were, at that same moment, trying to help Heather lay down in the bathroom. I saw a flicker of motion and heard something hit the floor. I’m not sure if the baby’s head hit first or not. I then picked her up from the floor, and held her underneath Heather’s legs, careful not to pull on the umbilical cord. The baby, Alice, initially cried and intermittently fell silent. I then tried to coax her to breathe, by patting on her back to get her to cry – she was pretty slippery to handle since she was covered in fresh blood.

It was about this time that the rescue squad arrived and took over. I later found out that 2 squads had arrived – and one of the rescue workers was an old friend of mine that I’d gone to school with – Brian Lundy. The 1st squad took Alice to the hospital as soon as they got her some oxygen and wrapped.

It was around that time that Heather delivered the placenta. I also failed to catch it and had to fish it into the small tub provided by the squad. The 2nd squad put Heather on a stretcher, fixed her up with oxygen for a bit, then took her to the hospital.

After I washed my blood covered arms and changed out of my bloody clothes, I headed off to the hospital, praying incessantly that everything would be OK with baby and mommy. I arrived and found mommy and baby in the emergency room. In spite of my worries, all the medics assured me that everything was OK.

We then transferred over to the maternity ward and Heather fed baby and was stitched up. Dad arrived and was a comfort to me while the stress was still fresh. After Heather and I had eaten, and I’d made sure they were OK, I went back home to see Martha. Martha and I have since visited mommy and the baby.

Everyone seems to be doing well – baby has a little goose-egg on the back of her head which may have been from the delivery or the initial dive from the wound. Either way, the doctor told us not to worry about it.

We chose the name of Alice Rebecca, in honor of my wife’s great-grandmother.

I was told at the hospital that I might have to sign the birth certificate as the person delivering the baby! The newspaper is coming to the hospital tonight to interview us.

Wow – crazy!

Fantasy Football shenanigans

So I am in a fantasy football league. This league is with several people that I was on my mission with and is run by my ex-mission president (who runs 3 or 4 such leagues with different ex-missionaries). We have been playing since 2000 and it’s a lot of fun.

We play in Yahoo – and one of the rules is that in order to start someone in a week, he has to be on your roster by 11:59 Pacific time on Sunday night (and his game has to not have started yet). Where this comes into play is if you have someone on Monday night and want to pick someone else up – you have to pick them up on Sunday – if you pick them up on Monday, you can’t put them on your roster (even if the player you are replacing has not played his week game).

So this past week, we had 2 owners who did not replace a few of their players that went on bye week. Naturally, this meant that their teams did not do so well. One guy said he was out all week at some place without Internet, and one guy is the classic trash-talker whose team always stinks.

So on Monday, they logged on and tried to replace the bye-week players with players who were playing in the PIT/BAL Monday night game, but couldn’t, due to the aforementioned rule. So they asked the commissioner to make the change, and he did it! And, even crazier, when I complained about it, the other owners agreed with them?!?! I just cannot fathom how this can possibly be a good thing. Naturally, this reversed the outcome of one game, as one of the bye-week no-changers used several field goals from Pittsburgh kicker Jeff Reed to win his game by a point.

There is a rule, and it should be followed. Leaving it up to the commissioner to do it if he feels like it is a bad thing. What if next time, the commissioner is out of town and can’t do it. And it conveniently involves a team that the commissioner is playing?

Shenanigans!! Shenanigans I tell you!!