Good vomit story

So – classic story that I want to share. We have recently been sick in our family, of the vomitous variety. As many of you undoubtedly know, one of the downsides of having multiple children is that they all get sick. And they don’t even have the consideration to all get sick at once. Nope, one gets sick, then they get better and get the next one sick, who in turn infects the next, etc. And sometimes by the time everyone’s done, we’ve caught something else.

So yeah, recently several of our kids had gotten sick. Carolyn and I managed to avoid the illness, most likely becuase we do silly things like “Don’t drink out of the cups of people that are sick” and “Wash our hands” – you know, crazy wacky wild ideas like that. So I took the last remaining non-sickie to Cub Scouts and on the way back (after eating pizza and Gatorade), he tells me as we’re driving back “I don’t feel good”. I ask him if he’s going to throw up and he says yes. So we stop the car, get out, and he barfs all over the side of the road.

On a side note, let me just tell you how refreshing it is to actually have some children that can throw up in the toilet. As opposed to, say, wherever they happen to be. I’d say we have 2 1/2 kids that can manage that right now. As a 2nd side note, if you’re walking around Hyde Park, I’d avoid Paxton Avenue, IYKWIM.

So yeah we get back in the car and flee the scene before anyone comes out and notices us. He says he’s feeling better and you know how you get after you throw up – you feel a little better having cleared things up, so to speak. So I decide to continue on with our grocery shopping. In hindsight this was a clear “Dad” move.

So we’re at Sam’s Club and we had just finished checking out and he again says that he’s not feeling good. So I’m like “Alright” and we start busting for the bathroom. Really it was a pretty convenient time – we had already checked out, and we were up at the front of the store near the bathrooms. So we were booking it – I’m pushing the cart and he’s right there with me. I get to the bathroom and stop to leave the cart and get him into the bathroom when I look back and notice he’s a few steps behind me. HE HAD STOPPED TO PICK UP A PENNY THAT WAS ON THE GROUND!!!!! This was a crucial delay and cost us – as he threw up in the foyer by the water fountains and then again at the entrance to the men’s room.

So clearly I am doing a good job of teaching him the rules of coin picking up, I am not doing so great a job at teaching him the rules of vomit / bladder control. As anyone who has thrown up and/or nearly peed / pooed their pants knows, any delay can be crucial. And most importantly, once you feel it is “safe”, then your body just starts going. That’s why so many people have accidents right when they get to the bathroom but before you make it to the actual toilet (or get your pants down). You have spent so much time, effort, and mental concentration getting to the bathroom that once you make it, your mind is like “Ahhhh we’re safe now”.

Anyway just thought I’d share

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Comments (3) left to “Good vomit story”

  1. THE PEOPLE MUST HAVE THEIR DAN MILLER / Sunday Sacrament meeting wrote:

    [...] as I mentioned in my last post, we’ve been dealing with some kid sickness. Because I have meetings and such that I have to [...]

  2. Donna wrote:

    This would make a great book. Miller Family Adventures.

  3. Donna wrote:

    Oh by the way, I lauged for five minutes. My sides hurt.

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