So, one of the things my company does is that every year they have a National Employee Health and Fitness week. As the name implies, this is apparently some sort of national thing, though I’ve never seen it done at any other company and everyone that I tell it to thinks it’s just one of those wacky things my company does. I’ve written about this before, back in 2007 and 2008
Anyway, it was the same kinds of things this year. We had a kickball tournament, which we won one game and then lost the next. Then we lost in Ultimate Frisbee. Our team did win in croquet, though I was not there because I had taken the day off to go with my son to the zoo on a field trip.
So to end the day, it was an “Amazing Race” style game, similar to the TV show. I had won this last year, and was looking forward to winning again.
We all lined up and got the first clue, which read “It is opposite day at the field - you will find your next clue at the eastern column”.
Okay, so before I go further, take a second and think about where you would go after reading that clue.
Hurry up.
The clock is ticking.
The other teams are all going.
So anyway, we saw opposite, and eastern, and headed off to the western side of the field. Makes sense right? So we got there and there was a lady standing by a bridge at the far west side of the field. She gave us our task, which was to do 20 jump ropes. We did them and then waited for her to give her our clue. She said “Oh, do you have the orange clue? I can’t give you your clue until you have the orange clue” Apparently this was not the first station - we had somehow missed one. So we ran back across the field. We saw some of the other teams so we kind of ran towards them. As we ran, I realized that the “opposite” of column is row. Perhaps the race organizer lives in Amy-Opposite-World, where the opposite of concentration is 64, the opposite of focus is fackus, the opposite of rude is rosy, and the opposite of just about everything is “glottish”. So the opposite of eastern column is western row, which is the name of one of the roads that border where I work. We got that clue, which led us to the 2nd station, which we also got with no problem. At that 2nd station, we got an orange clue, which I reproduce below.
The clue said something about a bridge, so now that we had the orange clue, where to go? Back to the first lady, who was looking for the orange clue and was standing near a bridge. So away we went. She made us do our jumping jacks (again), and then we gave her the orange clue, but she told us that was NOT the orange clue. As you have probably figured out by now, that’s the “red” clue. Okay, it does look kind of red, but it’s definitely an orangeish-red, and in the light of the sun, and sunglasses, it’s easy to confuse.
So eventually we found our way to the correct bridge, and then the next clue, and then back to the orange clue lady, where we did our jump ropes (again), and then back to the finish, where we finished about 5th or so (out of 15 teams).
Then as I was sitting on the patio stewing about the annoyingness of the clue confusion, one of the ladies from corporate communication was filming people. She came up to me and asked how I liked the race. I replied “Eh”. She kept the camera on me, perhaps waiting for me to crack up or something. I elaborated “It was all right”. After another pause, she stopped and said “Thanks for the great soundbite” Hahahahaahahahaha. I apologized to her later but in the moment I was just too annoyed.
