Goodbyes June 11, 2008
How do you deal with goodbyes? Are they challenging for you? Am I the only one that hates them? It’s one thing saying goodbye to someone that I know I’ll see again in a few months. Sure, I’ll miss them, but no big deal. What about if you have to say goodbye to someone and you know you won’t see them again for several years, or perhaps never again. How do you feel then and how do you handle it? As I talked about in my post yesterday, I have to say goodbye to two friends soon. They are both leaving this weekend. In fact, one of them it is likely I won’t even see before she goes. I didn’t say good bye and I guess I won’t have to. But the other one is coming over today. I’m going to watch her kids for her while she packs. I hadn’t given much thought to having to say goodbye to her. Then I just realized that this could be the last time I see her before she goes. I don’t want to say goodbye. When she comes to pick up her kids I just want to give her a “see ya later!” as usual. I don’t want to make a big fuss with hugs and gushing. That just leads to crying. (Which I hear has it’s benefits, but I’d rather cry in private.) I guess I handle goodbyes the best by denying them and avoiding them. I’d rather my last memory of a person be some regular moment we had together, not some long sad cry fest. I hate this. I wish I could avoid it. But she’s coming over. I feel like I should say something. Of course I feel it’s important to tell people how much they mean to you. But that’s better done at a non goodbye moment.
I don’t know what to do. So please tell me, what do you do and how do you feel about goodbyes.
I have been on both sides of this. I lived in a place this year knowing that I would only live here for one year, so yes i did not put forth the effort that I could have. But I still made some wonderful friends, and i am glad I did not put up a bigger wall.
You never know when you might see friends again. My parents had many friends while we lived overseas and probably thought that they would never see them again. But now 25 years later many of them are in Utah and they see eachother, BBQ hang out etc, like no time has gone by at all. SO I say keep it up… you never know.
I’ve found that in married life it is really hard to make good friends, just because you have little kids and schedules are difficult to coordinate, so maybe that’s why saying goodbye isn’t a huge big deal. At least it hasn’t been so far, because either I or Braden (or both) are really busy and so our social life stinks sometimes. We have moved a lot, though, in the past few years. One side effect of moving around so much is that we don’t get too attached to people. But still, it’s hard. Pretty soon we will settle down and then have to deal with this kind of thing with people we’ll have known for a while.
I hate goodbyes, too. Really, any way you look at it, it stinks. I cry a lot, and I hate it!
I don’t really like goodbyes all that much….but, with the gospel…..to me…everything is eternal….and eventually I know that I will see the people I have grown to care about in this life again. I really am grateful for an eternal view of life……I have met many people who have helped shape who I am….In school, church, working as a missionary……and I love them very much….even though I don’t ever talk to them anymore. It reminds me of the first time I went through the temple….and many people I love were in the celestial room…..I felt so happy and thankful so many people I love were there……I think that is how it will be again someday….All the people I have met throughout my life I will get to see again…..and it will be a sweet reunion….those same feelings as entering the celestial room at the temple. It is hard to keep up with everyone that you grow close to….they move on, you move on….family, kids, work, service….and everything else take over…….but, memories last…..and it is important to hold those memories sacred….and look forward to that “sweet reunion”……………Love..Nicole
Goodbyes are the worst. I usually try to brush over it and say, “I don’t like goodbyes, so I’ll just say it fast. Good luck, have a safe trip, and we’ll miss you.” Then if I feel like I have to tell someone how much I have enjoyed their friendship, I go with a card. Then the words are said without an awkward moment. I totally know how you feel. Good luck knowing what to say.
Thanks for the comments everyone. I’ll put your advice to the test!