Carolyn’s Therapy Sessions

A lot on my mind June 10, 2008

I’m really quite busy. I shouldn’t be posting at all right now because I have so much to do. But blogging is my therapy. I’m not sure if Dan or I mentioned this yet here, but we found a renter for our old house. We have been quiet relieved about that. They want to move in by the end of next week. So that means that we really, really have to move. Ready or not we have to get out. As you can imagine we and the workers have been scrambling to finish all the details at the new house. Actually, most of the major stuff is done. But there still some things that need to be done before we can comfortably live there. Now our time is short and it must get done. I’ve been working on packing here. But it’s hard to really buckle down and pack everything when we still don’t know the exact day that we’re moving. Also, Dan’s parents are coming down from Cleveland to help us, which is great. But we have to make sure we have a comfortable place for them to sleep while they are here.

In other news, two of my friends are moving away this weekend. And I’m talking moving far away. One is moving is moving to Los Angeles and the other is moving to a small city it Louisiana. It is doubtful that I’ll see either of them ever again. Believe me, I know how this story goes. It has happened to me many, many times since I’ve been married. It seems to happen more frequently in my ward than regular wards due to the large number of schools and hospitals in this area. A lot of people come here for school or medical fields, they stay for a few years, then move away. I’ve gotten several very close friends over the years that have had to move far away. And it always ends up the same. We keep in touch really well for a few years and then it just tapers off. Neither of us want to lose touch, but when you don’t see a person face to face for 5+ years it gets hard to stay close. This has gotten me to thinking about my two current friends who are about to move. I keep wondering if I should even bother to try to keep up with them after they move. Sure they are both great people. They have both been good friends. But I really doubt I’ll ever see them again. What are the odds they come back to Cincinnati to visit? Even if they did, that can’t possibly happen often enough to keep a friendship alive. All I know is that I can’t take the constant loss. I feel like I’m being abandoned on a regular basis. It hurts and I’m tired of opening myself up just to be hurt. People could argue that it makes no sense to never open up to making new friends. I’ve gotten to enjoy various friendships that last for a few years at a time. Each time, with each friend, has been special. It’s better than being alone. But having those friends eventually leave me and then losing touch really hurts. So I’m wondering…why bother trying to keep in touch? It’s bad enough my whole family has left us here. They’re all so far away that we can’t ever see them. I know they had to go. They had their reasons and they were good, important ones. We each have to do what is best for our own families. I understand that. I guess I just wish I could make some friends who were going to be here permanently. Sometimes when a new family moves into the ward, and I hear they are here just for school for a few years, I don’t bother getting to know them. I don’t want to. I’m tired of being hurt. I’m tired of being abandoned.