Facebook?
Do you use Facebook? If you don’t, then you should. I’ve been meaning to make a post all about blogs vs. Facebook, but I just haven’t gotten around to it. In brief, I think that Facebook is taking a beating to traditional blogs. If I post on Facebook I have a much larger reading audience than the small circle of people who read my blog. But I still really like my blog a lot, so I’m keeping it. 
At any rate, yesterday I was completely shocked to discover that a guy from my past was trying to contact me on Facebook. This is a guy that I don’t want to contact me in any way, shape or form. I promptly blocked is “friendship request” and tried to forget about it. While I was at it, I thought it was about time to clean out my list of Facebook “friends.” On Facebook, you can be “friends” with anyone. It doesn’t matter how well you know the person. If they accept your friendship request, then they’ll have access to your profile on Facebook and what ever information you display on there. There are a lot of people on my friend list who I know, but who I wouldn’t say I’m really friends with. Some of them are people that I grew up with, we went to the same school, or we were in the same ward, etc. Even though I’m not really close friends with those people, I’m still interested in what they’re up to. But after I’ve caught up with some of those old friends, I honestly don’t care to continue to receive updates about what they are doing daily. I reconnect and now I’m done. I won’t see these people again and so I felt it was time to cut the strings. There are other people who were on my friend list that I deleted because I just don’t care that much about their lives. These are people that I do know, some are even people who live near by. But I’m not friends with them. Again, I don’t need regular updates about people I’m not friends with. Does this make me some sort of Facebook snob?
Well, as I suspected might happen, today I got another friendship request from one of the people that I deleted yesterday. You see, when you delete a person from your friend list, they have no idea. They don’t get an email saying anything rude like, “I”m not gonna be your friend any more!” But they can see me on the list of people that they might know. So they can click on my picture and try to be my friend again. Now I don’t know what to do. If I ignore this friendship request will this person feel slighted? But I’m really not friends with her. We we friends in 3rd grade! I knew her in high school, but we weren’t friends then. And I haven’t seen her in more than 16 years! What should I do?? I don’t want to be rude. I don’t want to be a snob. I just don’t necessarily want my personal life open to every person that I’ve ever known in my entire life.
What would you do in this situation? Should I have not deleted friends in the first place? Should I accept friendship invitations from any Tom, Dick or Harry that sends me one? I want my friends, old and new, to have access to me and my life. I want to keep in touch with those people that matter to me. But I don’t feel like I should have to keep in touch with EVERYONE.
Thoughts?
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I know what you mean. I’m afraid to deny friendship requests cause I don’t want these people mad at me. But we aren’t friends in my mind. Just in theirs.
1 Annahannah said this (February 20, 2009 at 4:44 pm)
My words for verification are porney and 15. interesting.
2 Annahannah said this (February 20, 2009 at 4:45 pm)
when i first started facebook 2 months ago I added everyone and their dog. My sister’s exboyfriend who I meant once requested me and now I don;t know why I said yes. I think I might go through and clean out all my people I don’t care about. Carolyn you are totally on my list of keepers:)
3 amy said this (February 20, 2009 at 5:02 pm)
Your facebook. Your time. You can do whatever you want! HAve fun with it!
4 abbott said this (February 20, 2009 at 7:30 pm)
Your facebook. Your time. You can do whatever you want. Have fun!
5 abbott said this (February 20, 2009 at 7:31 pm)
I definitely have an opinion about this. I’ve collected a few “friends” on Facebook – several I knew when they were children. But I HATE getting annoyed to death with their “meaningless to me” dribble about what is going on with their lives – which sometimes included off color language. I finally just had to delete. I doubt very seriously that they will notice. I deleted other people who at one time were my friends, and people I truly cared about, but they never answered my reponses to their daily status. Hey, do I smell? So they’re gone, and I have a few more people teetering on the edge of annoying the daylights out of me. I agree that it is my Facebook and my time. I am WAY too busy to be bothered. (Save the guilt for sin.) And please don’t give up your blog. It is my lifeline.
6 Donna Norman said this (February 20, 2009 at 8:19 pm)
I just pruned about 50 people from my friend list for the same reason.
By the way, thank you for not defriending me
7 Carey said this (February 20, 2009 at 9:49 pm)
I think people are way too free with the info they share on facebook which would allow a crazy stocker to figure out where they are and what they are doing SOOOOOO easily. I guess I spend too many nights alone to want to share that much info so I say delete delete delete and don’t worry about someone’s feelings getting hurt if it means you can keep your privacy.
8 Katie said this (February 22, 2009 at 12:08 am)
Actually Katie, you can set up privacy options on Facebook so that only people of your choosing can view your personal information. One problem that comes up is when you accept friendship invitations from people who you only sort of know. Just because you knew someone once doesn’t mean they are your friend and doesn’t mean they have to have access to your personal life.
9 Carolyn said this (February 22, 2009 at 7:28 am)
re: facebook v. blogs, I think blogs are better since they keep a longer-term interest. I have read in a couple of places that facebook tends to be a burn-hot and burn-out-quick kind of place in precisely the manner you describe. At first it’s all cool and stuff but then…once you’re done reconnecting its appeal value drops significantly. And then you go back to your blog
10 Ryan said this (February 24, 2009 at 1:46 am)