Excuse me? No, excuse YOU!

So here’s something that annoys me and I thought I’d write something about it to see if this is widely shared, or if I’m just easily annoyed.

Let me set the scene – 2 people are in a hallway talking to each other. Each one is on an opposite wall of the hallway, so between them they are taking up the entire hallway, forcing people to walk between them in order to walk down the hall. Now this, in and of itself, I don’t necessarily have a problem with. It’s annoying yes, but there have been times that I have done this. And of course anything that I have ever done could not POSSIBLY be annoying.

No, what I find incredibly annoying is the fact that it appears to be socially acceptable and mandated that the person who is just walking down the hall, minding his or her own business, is “supposed to” say “Excuse me”. Why should THEY have to beg the pah-don of the blowhards that are taking up the entire hallway?

So I was trying to think of a way that we can discourage this behavior. I already walk right through them without excusing myself. Even if there’s a tiny amount of room on one side of one person, I just barge right down the middle – your rude behavior is not making me have to try and squeeze myself through the very edge of the hallway. I thought maybe a dirty look, but that seems like it’s not quite enough. Another thought I had was to “accidentally” throw a shoulder into one of the participants, but that seems to go too far the other way.

So the solution I have come up with (and I think it’s a good one) is that the new socially accepted rule is that as you walk through the rudyheads, you say “Excuse you”. It’s just subtle enough, and because it’s so close to what people will be expecting to hear (“Excuse me”), you could probably even get away with it. They’d be left thinking (if they even hear it) something along the lines of “Did I just hear that right? Nahh”

So what do you think, loyal reader(s)? Shall we do it? Let’s take back the world, one hallway interaction at a time!!!

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Comments (10) left to “Excuse me? No, excuse YOU!”

  1. annahannah wrote:

    could work. What about stopping to a dead halt just before them and just staring at them until they move? Note that this is most often happening at church.

  2. Carey wrote:

    I never mosey down the hall, I always barrel right through it. Sure, I’ve had a few close calls, but when you look like you’re in a hurry, people know you don’t have time to say excuse me.

  3. dan wrote:

    I don’t think there’s anything magical about church that makes it happen – I think it happens anytime there are lots of people around places with hallways.

    Maybe you see it at church the most because you don’t work in an office building? Because it happens a lot there too.

  4. Carolyn wrote:

    i think i’d just go with not saying anything at all. an “excuse me” isn’t necessary. and an “excuse you” seems a tad rude. if the people having the conversation get tired of people walking between them, then they should take a hint and move to the same side of the hallway.

  5. Ker wrote:

    Haha, this made me laugh so hard! Here’s the thing: I would really laugh if I saw someone do that, but I don’t think I’d have the nerve to do it myself. I’d just as soon not say anything at all, because you’re absolutely right that it is them taking up the hallway and making everyone walk between them. You *would* think that many people walking between them would in turn make them move, but I’m continuously surprised at how oblivious people can be when it comes to their surroundings.

  6. dan wrote:

    Yeah – people just don’t realize it. Seriously these guys yesterday were in the hall talking to each other across the entire hallway for 10-20 minutes.

  7. Jeff wrote:

    isn’t this where I read a few days ago about passive-aggressiveness? (http://www.regoarrarr.com/blog/) I think a few notes might be in order. I know I want one for A)the guys that keep riding their bike on the wrong side of the road (running into me) and B)the moron that keeps parking his monster truck adjacent to a sunken manhole/pothole, forcing me way out into the middle of the road–also on my bike. Oh, and thanks Dan for letting me hijack your comments for my own private rant.

  8. Charlie Davis wrote:

    How about you go find someone real quick and start a conversation with them while walking down the hall.

    Then when you get in between the two people, you stop walking and continue the conversation between them? Oh that would be hilarious. Too bad I don’t have the guts to do it, so don’t come get me. 🙂

  9. dan wrote:

    Jeff – no problem – associated rants are not only allowed – they’re encouraged!!!

    Charlie – you know I’m coming to get you next time I see this happening.

    One thing I forgot to mention is that walking between two people in the DR is incredibly rude. In fact, not only do you have to say excuse me but there’s some sort of hand signal that you’re supposed to make. I seem to recall it’s something like wiggling your hand back and forth (like you’re mimicing a fish)

  10. Carey wrote:

    I now hate you for writing this entry. I never gave it a second thought until you brought it to my attention. Now I can’t help but think about it every time I pass two people in the hall.

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